i’m writing this as my gay bff brushes my super tangled hair, so if anything is misspelled…well, there’s your reason. 

anyway, yes, i am a senior at the number one party school IN THE NATION (if that is not a good enough reason to attend this fine establishment, then i don’t know what is). everyone has a cross to bear, and mine just happens to be living up to that title. 

i started off my days here as an awkward girl from a small town, with a shitty haircut and a flat chest (read: not the ideal conditions in which to make friends). luckily, i was tagging along to college with my best friend and soon met the love of my life. he, however, liked men just as much as i did…but only one of us knew it (i’m sure you can guess which one). i honestly believe it’s the friends you have that make your college experience, and you will find those wherever you choose to go. 

anyway, here are some insider tips for going to college:

• get a GOOD fake i.d. (whether or not you like to drink, you will eventually succumb to peer pressure). however, know that a reproduction license is a felony, so steal your older sister’s. 
• flirt with people. i mean EVERYONE. this makes you friends and enemies, so you are sure to have some excitement in your life. 

ok, i’m out of advice. but mainly because the only two things i’m good at in life are drinking and flirting (and of course, the things that flirting leads to). if you aren’t from georgia, then you will probably need further convincing. but if you are…well…you should know better.